It really does. I am your friend. Why can't you just get it to your head? I'm gonna go watch Super Junior videos and tomorrow, I will not let this affect me. You can do it, mrye. HWAITING. fuck, sakit siol hati. macam kene cocok ngan jarum 234653899148211 kali. Semua salah aku, kan? Ya, semua salah aku. ofc.

Welcome to blogdrive (?) Since my blog is all dead, I'm guessing that it's safe to blurt. So. I am bored. tumblr is not working and I'm playing moshi monsters. Might just as well blog too right? The Taiwan trip was really fun. Crap, my vocabulary is like jvfdizbhns now so I don't think I can describe it. Via the trip, I got tons of experience and got through certain problems with the other leaders. I guess I have to work on loads of stuffs. All for the band. I really don't mind. All for the band. Okay, this is sucky. Blogdrive doesn't have bold or italics or underline thingys anymore. Great. My section. I love them to bits. I'm glad they realise their mistakes and the realisation to buck up for the upcoming SYF. I'm glad that all of them got to love band through the many sectionals we're having. Their passion had indeed ignited and I'm so proud to call them my juniors. As for the sections with the absence of my batch as a member, I'm proud of them as well. They've gotten to be independant of themselves. All of them are talented music lovers who won't let anything bring them down. And for that they deserve the recognition. The trombones and euphoniums players. These people are to be envied. I love CMB. I love band. I love music. I love the people I meet in band. I love expressing myself through music. I love guiding people when it comes to music. I love feeling like I belonged once again. Love, mrye

Dear Muhammad Rainal,

Have you forgotten about talking? Or am I the one forgotten? Are you too busy to even text me? Or have you forgotten about me? Have you no balls to apologize? Or too ignorant to even care anymore?

There seems to be no difference when you're gone and when you come back. Now you're back from taking the most prestigious exam any wanna-be musician would want to take. All communications in that period of time was emails. Even then I think I find you more communicative and interactive than when we're in the same country. Hell, in the same region of a ridiculously small country.

I don't know if you'll ever see this. Or if anyone will ever see this. But just so you know, I cancelled plans with crossed fingers, hoping you'll at least say hi or stop by. But you don't. And you know what's the best part? You're completely oblivious to whatever I'm trying to tell you.

Call me a girl; but I am waiting instead of taking the initiative to start communicating. I guess you're unaware of that, huh?

I'll wait till the end of today and that's that. I don't wanna take anymore bullcrap from you. Screw your ego, screw your I-can-get-whatever-I-want attitude and maybe I'll give in. If not, then screw you.

Oh and just so you know, there's a difference between saying 'I do miss you' because you really missed me and saying 'I do miss you' because you had to say it to avoid any more questions.

It sucks knowing you too well. It sucks you knowing me too. But it sucks that you've become so plastic in your words, I can see right through them. It sucks even more that it actually does affect me.

Reveries. I want my reveries.

Love,
Nur Mariyah

Dear Blogdrive,

Life has never been such a bitch lately. I can be over the moon for about a week or so then something happens and BAM BOOM BAZOOKA I'll be down in the dumps back again. Right now Danger: Radio's You All Believe is playing in my head. Ironic eh? No, not BGR. *gags* Bloody hell deguelasse. Speaking of which:

I've been travelling via the MRT (Mass Rapid Transit) these few days because of YPSB (Young People Symphonic Band) practices that are on the other side of my hometown. MRTs are far more interesting than buses. Not surprisingly, there are more inconsiderate people in MRTs than buses due to the large capacity an MRT train can hold. I'm going off topic.

Anyways, people just can't stop doing PDA (Public Display of Affection). Seriously. It is bloody disgusting. The worst part is that they are totally unaware of who is around them. Little kids have their eyes almost dropping off the sockets staring at them with their mouth gaped open. They are not supposed to see these stuffs! I'm not supposed to see it. Hell, I don't want to see it. It is bloody disgusting. I repeat. It. Is. Bloody. Disgusting.

Back to life. My life, to be exact. It's a rollercoaster. No, very bad metaphor. My life is more of a trampoline, and I'm jumping on it. Sometimes, the trampoline is all springy and jumpable-ish (if there is such a word but you get what I mean) so it's easier for me to reach the sky. On other occasions, it'll just take me above the tallest tree or lower. The trampoline resembles the type of events that happen. Therapeutic or not, it doesn't matter. It focuses more on how I react to these events. If I take it in a positive manner, the spring is all set up with the tension within it. If I take it in a negative manner, the spring is not at all ready to bring me up higher than my last jump, thus, it actually brings me lower than my last jump.

The metaphor is as such:
Life is like a trampoline.

Other than that, I figured that I need a new phone too. Still thinking of the Motorola. Or the Sony Ericsson (correct spelling, no?) Experia with qwerty keypad or Nokia something. It has qwerty too. Or Samsung CorbyPro. My requirements for a new phone is simple: qwerty keypad, wireless and not bulky. Bulky phones are ugly and unglam. Like the LG phone I'm using now. Shame my green phone's 369# buttons aren't working. Urgh, screw it.

My Chemical Romance. Oh, where have you gone? I missed you. I'll forever love you. Till the death of you make me... stop the love? Screw it. I love My Chemical Romance. My Chemical Romance. Oh love. I disagree with stupid Past Present or something magazine. Whatever. Emos aren't meant to be hated either way. It's not as if they chose to have a life that is so screwed. Broken families, broken hearts. Broken parents, broken life. Screw happy people who diss emos. Cue in Good Charlotte's Misery. Oh love.

Haven't been checking Panic! At The Disco's updates. I bet they're still recording. Brendon Urie should be eaten with rainbow rice toppings. He is so fa-ai-aine. Spencer Smith is gorgeous. Full stop. His eyes!

Too Fast For Love tour is long long finished. Yes, I do wonder what Cobra Starship is doing. Prolly recording another album. The Cobra says they have to release one album every year. I still think While The City Sleeps, We Rule The Streets is the best album they've ever done. My opinion. Yours may differ. I don't really give two shts.

Mehrong. SHINee haz gotz newz albumz baby! Lucifer is awesome. I wanna learn the tutting at the front. It's awesome. I can do it. At half-speed. Mehrong. Pathetic sial Mariyah. Half-speed. So accomplished. SHINee fighting!

I miss a lot of people. I miss Afiz. I miss Emofaggot. I miss Shaf. I miss Ardila. I miss Amalina. I miss Amirah. I miss Edeline. I miss Afzal. I miss Kenneth. I miss Sufian. I miss Karim.

There's loads more. I really really miss you guys to bits. Maybe we'll meet one day, God willing, and catch up. I miss you guys so badly.

Denial depravity. Yes, I am in denial. I miss mi novio so friggin' bad. "I want it so bad I'll shoot the sunshine into my veins. I can't remember the good old days." Remind me.

I really wish one day, At least for one day, I get to see Emofaggot again. Then I won't miss you so bad. It really is frustrating that you've yet to wake up from your silly reverie. Aku tidak bersalah langsung. I wasn't the one who jumped to conclusions.

I love band. I love my clarinet. I love my band. I love the YPSB people. I love YPSB.

I love all my friends, regardless of whether they love me back or not.

I love Emofaggot, cos he has awesome hair and eyes. I just wish he'll stop wearing those ugly blue shoes.

Oh, I want a black rose for my birthday. It'll be better if it was a plastic rose. So I won't have to change the water everytime. The five roses died and withered because I kept forgetting to change the water. Screw it. I still don't know who gave it to me. I don't really give a sht anymore. God told someone to give it to me. A gift.

Shameless much? Sorry. But black roses are really really beautiful. Much much more beautiful than red ones. Or maybe I'm just weird. The blog url is christened by me. Go figures!

I'll fast tomorrow. And on Monday. My veins are seriously scaring me. They're sticking out everywhere I feel like ripping them off my skin. It's so irritating.

Anyone going for the YPSB concert? I'll promote tomorrow when my eyes are wide awake. Now it's like half drooping. Hooray for Kenneth who may be going! My target is to sell at least 10 tickets. I can do it!

Lots of butterscotch, candy floss and cola favoured jellybean love,

Nur Mariyah; mrye
P.S. HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO YI CI, THE AWESOME BMM SENIOR!
P.P.S. HAPPY BELATED 18TH BIRTHDAY TO KARIM WHOSE LAST NAME I CAN'T PRONOUNCE OR SPELL! YOU KNOW YOU'RE A ROACKSTAR, I MISS YOU SMARTASS!

With your non-presence, my fingers laze around with the black pen,
Too tired to write,
Not inspired to pen down any story,
Lack of your words that shape themselves on the pages of the black book.

You see, with your non-presence, my fingers await your return.
My fingers write nothing with that black pen:
With your non-presence.

 

You have always been awesome,
I never really did admit,
Everything we had,
Is no longer there,
But I'll be with you wherever you go,
Through the eyes of the fly on the wall.

Nur Mariyah; mrye
http://browse.deviantart.com/?q=emo%20quote&order=9&offset=24#/d28edvu
The Academy Is...'s Everything We Had

Hey baby, how are you?
Please answer the phone, boo,
I miss you b, I need you b,
Go to hell, you don't need me,

Fly away, that's what you do,
You expect me to cry because of you?

Screw your ego boy,
You think I ain't got stuffs to worry bout,
Boy, I ain't no toy,
You think I ain't got people to be with now,

Just because you're gone,
It doesn't mean I'm all alone,

I don't need someone else for replacement,
No one else to write about,
someone else to teach and learn,
No one else to talk about,

We're in touch, that's all I ask,
I don't need whoever that's sent,
I ain't gon answer no call,
I ain't gon need no extra hand,

For replacement.
-mrye

One sends an ego bastard. An ego bastard. Ego monster. One doesn't get it at all. I ain't gon answer no call. I never needed your sympathy. Cos I got my own money. There ain't nothing you can to me. We go shananananana. Don't give a damn about.

Nur Mariyah; mrye.
Cobra Starship's I May Be Rude But I'm The Truth

Hello.

I've grown an obsession for SHINee. More specifically, their dance moves and meaningful lyrics. Though I do admit that they are adorable. Taemin is like awesome.

My Chemical Romance will be releasing new awesome shts soon. I can't wait, seriously. Death Before Disco is already awesome. Omg, I have to get it. Fer sure. No Bob. But the drums still have to decent. What's My Chemical Romance without drums?

Fangsta necklace. Cobra Starship. Total awesomeness. It's gorgeous. And it's 10 US dollars. Afforable? Yes. Now? No way. I'm broke and tied down. Darn.

Not so much from Panic! apart from the gorgeous eyes of Spencer Smith. *drools* He's awesome. But they have covered tons of songs. They're recording. Take your time you musical geniuses.

I went out with Priyaa today. It was bliss listening and talking. Just the two of us. She really misses the OBS people. You guys should consider yourself lucky. *laughs* She's awesome.

I made plans with Amalina, Afifah, Amirah, Ardila and Shamira to go out for Bubble Tea tomorrow in the morning. After so, I'll go off to Boon Lay to make sushi. Anticipation kills.

Right now, my playlist consists of The Medic Droid, Adam Lambert, Kill Hannah, SHINee, Space Cowboy, 3OH!3, Jeffree Star and Cobra Starship. Weird but the music mood is perfect. Danza.

Celebration For Winds And Percussion.

We're too young;
I hate to love you,
The night's gone,
And you're gone too;
But you can't be missed,
If you never go away
You Can't Be Missed If You Never Go Away by Cobra Starship

You're away. You're fucking missed. Too fast for love? It's the end of a broken heart where it's slowly being pieced together. You can't not admit that the reason of it's healing process is love. Cliche but true. Hard to believe but true. Not confessionable but true. Non admittable but true. Difficult to accept but it's fucking true.

But hey, you know you love me.

Nur Mariyah; mrye

1717171717171717171717171717
Please and thank you
Por favor y gracias

There he goes,
You stole my so and so,
Cos sweetheart: no no,
Nobody no no,
Knows me

Nur Mariyah; mrye
http://lilyas.deviantart.com/art/Onyx-89849763
Adam Lambert's Fever
Panic! At The Disco

It's addiction. I'm addicted to the small little things that you do that triggers the upward tug of my lips at both sides. To others, it may not be the same. They don't have the same connection. The same relationship that we both share. Different people. Same song. Just different pitches. Different key. See what you did? You inspired me to write. So I thank you.

Lol, my dad just closed my door. I don't know why. I think he's watching some porno movie or something. No. Just kidding. He always skips the part. My mum gets irritated as the movies he rents always have the F word and B word and C word and H word and basically all the vulgar words in English. Unless we're watching some not English movie. P word? B word? Yeah. All that. She hates it. She'll complain and my dad will just sit comfortably in his chair and watch the movie. Ahh, lovely family.

No kidding. I love family. My mum is the most random person I know. My father cracks real random stories and jokes. They make a perfect pair. I love them both. I cannot put it to words. It's like that. *snaps fingers*

I've been writing a lot lately. I bought fulscap. The yellow scream city. Thought it looked neat. It does. Instead my book, I wrote stuff in the fulscap. Edit, then transfer. Like bank money. I went to the library too. Borrowed a few thriller books. Three. Currently reading the one about banks. Interesting plot, intriguing characters.

Fan fiction? Frerard mostly. I miss My Chem. To the max. Been listening to Death Before Disco for the 654598792th time. I'll miss Bob. Hope he's well.

Frankie's having twins. 9 months shouldn't be so long. Bet he's excited. No children for Mikey and Alicia. Bandit turned 1 in May. Gerard and Lyn-Z. Ray is quiet.

I'm booked for the week. Tomorrow I'll be celebrating one's late birthday. Tues, I'll most prolly be on the phone. Weds: I'm making sushi then hurry home for stupid stuffs. Thurs is the batch outing I can't wait for. I'm bring Case 39. Friday I hope to get my English project done and ready with the rest. Yet to discuss. Will do on Tues. When I'm not on the phone. It's either phone or internet. *shrugs* We'll see

Addiction.

"I'm addicted to the way I feel when I think of you."
-Fall Out Boy's Fame < Infamy

Nur Mariyah; mrye.

Indulge in deep bass, closed eyes, serenity. Smooth serenity.

I'm plugged in.
We're all plugged in to the same song.
The same song that has different pitches.
Different pitches.

Sunbursts of notes.
Those complicated rhythms.
Make that delicate song.
Different pitches.

Delicate song.
Delicate music that touches the heart.
No.
Soothes the mind.
Persuades the body.
Into losing control.
Losing.

Touch the heart.
The music that touched the heart.
The song that softened the heart.
Is just a remix.
A remix of the heart.

It's going away. Lost its control.
It's going.
Control.
Lost.

Awakened reverie.
Discards the bass.
Disregards the bass.

Just another different pitch.
Different pitch of the exact same song.
Let's start again.
Lose control.
Away from my grasp.
The remix of the heart.

It's going away
It's going.

Away.

Decipher this. I like it. It's cool. It gets you thinking. Gets you in a new perspective I guess. Sweet.

This blog is dead. No one ever had much nice to say anyway. *winks*

My Chemical Romance's 4th album coming up. Cobra Starship's Too Fast For Love. Panic! At The Disco's recovery. The Young Veins's new members. The bass player is to the extreme smexy. JWalk.

Nur Mariyah; mrye.